clam_daniel @clam_daniel
I’m just a homosapien, man. twitter.com/search?q=from:… New England Joined December 2018-
Tweets10K
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Followers2K
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Following1K
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Likes15K
clam_daniel retweeted
Wow my little pop music classic you never sounded like that before, did you lose the rights to the original and rerecord it that's so Berenstain universe perpetuating
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clam_daniel retweeted
Going to start posting about my fake dating life, imaginary kids' stories, orphan cats, and only fans so I can go viral again.
clam_daniel retweeted
Nothing freakier than the weirdos on here looking for genuine interactions
clam_daniel retweeted
There’s a real lack of gargoyles on buildings here. Let’s bring that back.
clam_daniel retweeted
why do whatever you want when you want to, when you can get married instead?
clam_daniel retweeted
Apologies for the last tweet my brain is under new management
clam_daniel retweeted
People who walk around the grocery store with an actual physical list are so damn cute.
clam_daniel retweeted
Operation Be Unloveable is a total fail
clam_daniel retweeted
that power nap turned into a cry for help
clam_daniel retweeted
an oriole just came to my window & said hey bitch the grape jelly is empty
A recent deep field view image of—well, of stars. ZOOM IN. DO IT.
clam_daniel retweeted
Social media is fucking boring now, I say, as I scroll fucking boring social media now.
clam_daniel retweeted
That new song about navigation is already at the top of the charts but seriously, how maps is it to watch as "cartographer" uses its own definition compass for finding the employment history section of a resume
clam_daniel retweeted
Live, Laugh, Light myself on fire.
clam_daniel retweeted
hey fuckface it takes 2 minutes to help a turtle cross the road
clam_daniel retweeted
Clay makes a blob from a human being "Welcome to Claytown, population: no ironic body switcheroo movies"
clam_daniel retweeted
Life hack: If your follower count is more than your annual salary, it’s time to leave X.
clam_daniel retweeted
pretty sure the 3rd margarita had nothing to do with me super gluing my birkenstock to the counter top
clam_daniel retweeted
So fucken hard to look badass eating a cottage cheese salad.
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Wow my little pop music classic you never sounded like that before, did you lose the rights to the original and rerecord it that's so Berenstain universe perpetuating
Going to start posting about my fake dating life, imaginary kids' stories, orphan cats, and only fans so I can go viral again.
Nothing freakier than the weirdos on here looking for genuine interactions
There’s a real lack of gargoyles on buildings here. Let’s bring that back.
Afterschool Specials led me to believe I would be offered more free drugs.
Coworker casually threw into conversation “dessert soups” and everyone kept talking but I didn’t hear another word.
I get plenty of sleep, even if it takes all day to do it.
FAFSA stands for Fuck Ah Fuck Shit Ah what's my login?
why do whatever you want when you want to, when you can get married instead?
Apologies for the last tweet my brain is under new management
People who walk around the grocery store with an actual physical list are so damn cute.
Nikoletta Király Born (1978) Hungarian “Kettle” 2023 Oil on canvas
an oriole just came to my window & said hey bitch the grape jelly is empty
@clam_daniel I'm on a huge Star Trek kick and it makes me love space even more
fuuuuuuuuck! columbia house found me!! does anyone have $12,726.82 i could borrow?
"I'm sorry I named my daughter 'Paige.' It seemed funny at the time." - a confession of Nat Turner
hey dad the first baltimore orioles came today ❤️
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