Tarl Bludworth @tarlbludworth
here for laughs linktr.ee/tarlbludworth United States Joined November 2012-
Tweets12K
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Followers6K
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Following6K
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Likes373K
Tarl Bludworth retweeted
Say nice things to me but hurt me a little when we fuck
Tarl Bludworth retweeted
mom: please, please just go play with the other children christopher robin: *googling how to order zoloft* I can’t the stuffed donkey I’m friends with is clinically depressed
It's truly inspiring how someone can be so lazy and still somehow summon the energy to go out of their way to be an asshole to complete strangers.
Tarl Bludworth retweeted
Chews-day reminder that you’re not broken babe, you don’t need to be fixed, you’re not a project, there’s no “potential”, you are just healing.
Tarl Bludworth retweeted
i want a small, tasteful wedding. no family. no friends. no groom. just me eating a big cake
Tarl Bludworth retweeted
Every time I talk about milk, I clarify “not breast milk.” It’s unnecessary and it makes people uncomfortable.
Tarl Bludworth retweeted
we celebrate the wins of good people over here
Tarl Bludworth retweeted
My tramp stamp is 2 orcas taking down a yacht
I still haven't had sex under a waterfall and frankly, that is unacceptable.
When I said I was a content creator, I didn't say I create Good content.
Happy Ass Day or Hump Day or Wagon Wednesday or whatever you youngsters are calling it now
Tarl Bludworth retweeted
you between my thighs in a field of wildflowers would fix me rn
Not quite a dad bod, not quite a stud bod. I guess you could say I've got a dud bod.
Tarl Bludworth retweeted
Can I make you a playlist that fucking sucks
It's frustrating to know that no matter how many squats I do, my ass will never be as nice as stupid sexy Flanders.
Tarl Bludworth retweeted
roses are red grandmas love bingo the neighbors are stuffy their yard needs a flamingo
Tarl Bludworth retweeted
My Links: Without A Wolf: amzn.to/3Dn0mua Running From The Wolf: amzn.to/3HhtWT1 Definitely Memorable: amzn.to/3wBnwt6 Still Yours: amzn.to/3WEqIOV #ad
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Salty MacTavish 🇺�.. @SaltyMacTavish
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37K Followers 14K Following My thoughts were full of other things when I wandered off the path. Dante Alighieri, Inferno
nice things I say to .. @meantomyself
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🅲🅷🅴🆁🅸�.. @SpaklingGracias
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P3nnyDr3dful🇺🇦 .. @p3nny_dr3dful
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Insert a witty name h.. @Thehotstoner
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Sooz @CruisinSoozan
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allegedly libby @libbytaylorHOU
864 Followers 5K Following ☘️, fierce 🐾 dog mom, surfer. taco expert. girl economist working on renewables in Htown born on Halloween. made in LA. @Lakers 🏀 @Dodgers ⚾️ @Rams 🏈
Porcelain @porcelainmeow
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erica @ericanextdooor
10K Followers 9K Following making parlays & petting strays • 𝐣𝐚𝐬𝐨𝐧 𝐤𝐞𝐥𝐜𝐞 𝐟𝐚𝐧𝐩𝐚𝐠𝐞
Manda @wascrowellalove
145 Followers 203 Following Just a girl that loves crows. 🖤🐦⬛ 🐼🖤 https://t.co/fpVma2IeqO
MissHandleMe @misshandleme2
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abby boop 2 @abbyygiirl
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Ointmental @Ointmental
1K Followers 1K Following 'Cartoon, Camera, Caffeine' freak with an awesome hental mealth. I may be older, but I am certainly not wiser. Don't believe a word I say unless you want to 😾
Robyn @BigRedBarber
3K Followers 3K Following ☆Chaotic good. ♡Grouchy NOLA swamp martian living in Alabama. ☆Norwegian/Bangladeshi/Afghan - American. ♡Rebel and a Liberator. ☆Passionate Barber. ♡Egalitarian
Scrümbled Eggs 🇵�.. @scrumble_eggs
3K Followers 2K Following Use any pronouns, I’m honestly just happy to be referred to at all | DMs open | Bluesky: scrumble-eggs | Mastodon: scrumble_eggs | Alt: @oeufs_brouilles |
I enjoy The 1975’s “Love It If We Made It” and I like having SiriusXM in my car, but it creates that unwanted moment when your kids are with you and turning on the ignition is met with “FUCKIN IN A CAR SHOOTING HEROIN!” Like whoaaa, just gonna turn this down real quick
I’m a drummer & definitely not a singer but I’ll release a whole album of jaunty tunes to tell someone to get bent to
She’s having a moment
*executes a terrible posing routine. starts calling self a bodybuilding*
I’m heading on vacation tomorrow. I’m disconnecting on & off most of next week since I won’t have wifi but I’m leaving you with some peaceful vibes. 🌅
It's not called thirst trapping anymore. It's catch and release.
Non smiling pic. Bc she’s a work of art, clearly.
Happy Friday my loves! Any fun weekend plans?
Few things are sexier than when a guy stares deep in your eyes and whispers "I need to drain the main vein" then runs away
Good morning ☀️🍓💋
Wonder why I look miserable? I am wearing hood not cause it is raining, yes it does raining 🙄, cause it is bloody cold wind is going right through me and my hands turning slowly into the icicles.... 🥶 Otherwise all is peachy, how are my tweeting friends doing 😘
Just trying to live a hobbit-like lifestyle (bought a dress for the renaissance faire)
Care to expand on that second option, hoss?
Need a hot and steamy makeup sesh in an elevator STAT
I need this blob to evolve into a dinosaur FAST. I don't have 250 million years to wait.
i hate when i look as hot as the sun and no one is here to see me
there’s no way to watch this and still believe that america is a free country
It is worth watching this CNN video from the moment Emory Econ Professor @CarolineFohlin came across the violent arrest of a protester on campus and asked the police, with shock, "What are you doing?" That's all that prompted an officer to hurl her to the ground and handcuff her.
House of a 1000 Corpses? In this economy?
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