William_ShaRtner @Blarebare
@SonOfCha calls his sloppy-seconds 'noogies'? I try to put on those airs and act real cool. But I’ve got to realize that I’m acting like a fool. Beneath the CN Tower Joined October 2009-
Tweets59K
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Followers6K
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Following3K
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Likes76K
William_ShaRtner retweeted
Well, I did it. I rubbed mayonnaise all over the kitchen table.
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William_ShaRtner retweeted
before you call me an idiot consider this: i know
William_ShaRtner retweeted
Two lions are eating a clown. One turns to the other and says, “this man probably had a family.”
William_ShaRtner retweeted
I'm too honest fuck
William_ShaRtner retweeted
Piss is just urine leaving the body.
William_ShaRtner retweeted
i’m like if einstein was fucking stupid
William_ShaRtner retweeted
At lunch wit a white girl n she keep saying “yum dot com” after every bite
William_ShaRtner retweeted
“you need to step outside your comfort zone” i have $17 in my bank account
Stop inviting your friends over when your kids are sick.
William_ShaRtner retweeted
nice outdoor pizza oven how much indoor money did it cost you
William_ShaRtner retweeted
Nobody wants to go on the boat with me ever since I said a boat is a good place to do a murder. I’m not saying I’m going to do it, I’m just saying it’s a good place!
William_ShaRtner retweeted
ME: *spins nunchucks around my body and between my legs then smashes my Big Mac on the table* MY DATE: I have to go to the bathroom, excuse me. It may take a while, don't look for me
William_ShaRtner retweeted
Remember back before Onlyfans when your mom just sold Avon?
William_ShaRtner retweeted
was going to try milkbones home neutering kit but theres lots of 1 star reviews saying like "I accidentally lasered my dogs entire penis off
I’m finally ready to concede that there might be a clam out there matching my vibe.
William_ShaRtner retweeted
interestingly i'm a werewolf now
William_ShaRtner retweeted
Me: Imagine if every tear was an egg and every time you started crying there was 10-50 broken eggs on you. You leave a funeral and it’s like “crunch crunch crunch” (if the person was beloved). Genie: That's your wish? Me: No, we're just talking. Just being Friends right now.
William_ShaRtner retweeted
Would like to see more accordions in the wild.
William_ShaRtner retweeted
Police in California are using new technology to detect Marijuana use during traffic stops.
Scott Linnen @ScottLinnen
17K Followers 2K Following Hamburger Helper. Because a severed hand told me to.
PieGuy @ilovepie84
30K Followers 6K Following My wife works two jobs so that I can chase my dream of being in a boy band. https://t.co/JhWCxIXYbK
John Lyon @JohnLyonTweets
18K Followers 9K Following This mind intentionally left blank. https://t.co/n3wD8D0ICA
Craving @calluptome
15K Followers 5K Following wifey @JaymianaJones & I have seen it all used to travel now wants to hide ❤️horror films https://t.co/j1tRiOtekK
Angie Davis ❤️’.. @AngieDavisHaha
17K Followers 4K Following I'll always be the jester,in a world that idolizes the princess.Goodnight @davidduchovny girl. Comic of Twitter tour @TweetComedians ,knows how to make a salad.
FRO VO @fro_vo
42K Followers 1K Following 🦋 @frovo.bsky.social - - TOP TWEETS: https://t.co/NZPHrTUDjC -- Recent Tweets: https://t.co/4WK3dR41F1 -- STORE: https://t.co/YaxNssq5DC
JRGin @GinRumMe
21K Followers 11K Following Eat Sleep RockN’Roll. Still from Twitter. Recents: https://t.co/znpZjkqqT3 (Favorites next link).
Lovely Potatoes @robin_991
21K Followers 8K Following As seen on KTLA. I ran the NY marathon. Drowning in bubbles. Napping on treadmills
Princess Kim @RealPrincessKim
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Henry 3000 @Henry_3000
31K Followers 12K Following Bad but not evil. I asked @JacCarly and she said, YES. 💍
Little Greenis @DurtMcHurtt
24K Followers 2K Following https://t.co/HREAfSgLSJ https://t.co/RXZ32W17IY geriatric millennial
Ivsy @Ivsy01
40K Followers 9K Following drinking slurpees in front of 7-eleven with @The_Getawaygirl My thoughts in a box. my tweets 🤦♀️ https://t.co/0g8VMFzt2k
Tracie Breaux @traciebreaux
31K Followers 4K Following Book writer. Dog petter. Mental Health/Child Abuse Awareness Advocate. https://t.co/r0jtKGqvbl
Stabbatha Christy @LoveNLunchmeat
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wendy’s kid @JermHimselfish
21K Followers 2K Following Words cannot begin to describe the way that I feel about stuff
david albertson @hoop5050
51 Followers 471 Following consultant engineer, and environmental analyst.
GeorgePickensWR#1SZN(.. @Shawn84138667
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Piece @Piecezilla
6K Followers 434 Following Giving away little pieces of myself every day, FOR FREE! #StocktonProud @BattleBots 🤖
StacIE @EnvyInOhio
93 Followers 151 Following Came back to write more mediocre tweets, and to annoy the shit out of my followers with retweets of random things that make me laugh uncontrollably.
Yusuf @yusuframadan001
2 Followers 352 Following
APELORD RISE OF THE A.. @TOXIC599685
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Dakon 💚💜✨ ✨ @trillionsoFAces
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1 Followers 17 Following 24-year-old Wisconsin man Manuel Franco is winner of $768 million Powerball jackpot: 'It feels like a dream'
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™ @JP_theAntiHero
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Kimbudz @Kimbudz1
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Awayfromdivine @sweatheartmoony
19K Followers 18K Following wordplay afficionado who considers sarcasm to be the most subtle form of human expression https://t.co/JqVZh7bbuq
Rae_skywolker @Redgyrlfox
6K Followers 6K Following Fusing random chaos into a cohesive insanity takes talent
Anomaly Hunter @anomalyhunterx
2K Followers 1K Following 🛸 Researcher of the Unknown🛸 👽 Cryptozoology, Paranormal, UFOs 👽 👇 My first book is available on Amazon! 👇
Scorpius Funk's Junk @propheces
13K Followers 9K Following Word Whisperer...SHHH! https://t.co/dJ3OMOuEsp
Julie (The Texan Minn.. @juliepafoofnic
2K Followers 3K Following Just trying to find my way to an artful life. All dogs and Muppets are my friends. Black and brown lives MATTER, and love knows no gender.❤️🧡💛💚💙💜
Homoeconomicus @Homoeconomicuus
14 Followers 112 Following
Dammit Erin @DammitErin
9K Followers 4K Following dumps like a truck truck truck thighs like what what what
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Viktor Winetrout @Cpin42
26K Followers 651 Following Creator of @Sorrowscopes & @WeirdCelebTwets https://t.co/fJ5BJjLtIb
Scott Linnen @ScottLinnen
17K Followers 2K Following Hamburger Helper. Because a severed hand told me to.
PieGuy @ilovepie84
30K Followers 6K Following My wife works two jobs so that I can chase my dream of being in a boy band. https://t.co/JhWCxIXYbK
Craving @calluptome
15K Followers 5K Following wifey @JaymianaJones & I have seen it all used to travel now wants to hide ❤️horror films https://t.co/j1tRiOtekK
donni saphire @donni
60K Followers 2K Following Skeptical of most squirrels. Friendly comedian. More jokes on @[email protected]. Producer on The Love Below at Beermiscuous in Lincoln Park. Hat avoider.
Angie Davis ❤️’.. @AngieDavisHaha
17K Followers 4K Following I'll always be the jester,in a world that idolizes the princess.Goodnight @davidduchovny girl. Comic of Twitter tour @TweetComedians ,knows how to make a salad.
maura quint @behindyourback
114K Followers 1K Following Elon Musk is a piss baby. Rarely checking this account. Follow me at mauraquint on bluesky, insta, tt, etc. Contact: quintmaura@ gmail
FRO VO @fro_vo
42K Followers 1K Following 🦋 @frovo.bsky.social - - TOP TWEETS: https://t.co/NZPHrTUDjC -- Recent Tweets: https://t.co/4WK3dR41F1 -- STORE: https://t.co/YaxNssq5DC
JRGin @GinRumMe
21K Followers 11K Following Eat Sleep RockN’Roll. Still from Twitter. Recents: https://t.co/znpZjkqqT3 (Favorites next link).
Dan Duvall @lazerdoov
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Lovely Potatoes @robin_991
21K Followers 8K Following As seen on KTLA. I ran the NY marathon. Drowning in bubbles. Napping on treadmills
Princess Kim @RealPrincessKim
6K Followers 885 Following Legally and officially Princess Kim. My family and friends are my life. https://t.co/05GevtoAu0
Henry 3000 @Henry_3000
31K Followers 12K Following Bad but not evil. I asked @JacCarly and she said, YES. 💍
Little Greenis @DurtMcHurtt
24K Followers 2K Following https://t.co/HREAfSgLSJ https://t.co/RXZ32W17IY geriatric millennial
anica @AnicaSeelie
15K Followers 752 Following brand director at @heroforgeminis • find me on 📸 @anicaseelie • opinions are my own • they/she
Jenny Doesnt Know @HighlyIngenious
4K Followers 3K Following Books, snacks, horror movies, dark humor, cheese, & insanity covered cat by fur. Navy Veteran. She/her #BlackLivesMatter #Pride
Medusa BabestationTV @GoddessMedusaBS
3K Followers 679 Following 26 • 🌱 • ♎️ • 🏳️🌈 • she/her • Cat Lady • Dancer • Pro-choice • Pro-Black • Pro-LGBT • Free Palestine 🇵🇸 • #misophonia • #autistic @babestationTV presenter
Eka Bakie @EkaBakie
6K Followers 2K Following She/Her. Catfish. Atheist. Queen of gif. Reviewer of weird books. Don’t touch me
mary tyler less @islandinmymind
6K Followers 1K Following virgo sun, infj moon, anxiety rising • https://t.co/4pQT8hRDwF ⬅️ $6 OF here ➕ tip jar open! 🚫 No DMs, I turned them off but this app is f’ed
No Rolls Barred @NoRollsBarred_
15K Followers 182 Following You’ve made it to the No Rolls Barred Twitter account - #getonboard and give us a follow!
.chris @azedand2knots
3K Followers 1K Following I don't even know what I am shouting about half the time. @[email protected] elsewhere. she/they
SportsEthos Toronto R.. @EthosRaptors
252 Followers 168 Following Coverage of the Toronto Raptors for @SportsEthos | Home of the SportsEthos Raptors Podcast, hosted by @ElHoopo! #raptors #nba
Lord of the Board @Lordeoftheboard
4K Followers 426 Following I like board games, and I make content surrounding them. Root is my favorite game 🦊🐭🐰He/Him
Danni ☀️ @dannibelow
5K Followers 1K Following 31 | she/her ✨ Marketing Manager @flatrivergames 🎲 Co-host @UnboxedSpaces 🎧 Bi, cis, polyam 🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️ Traductrice de jeux 📝 Representation or bust 💖
Grubby Little Mitts @GrubbyComedy
2K Followers 481 Following Pissing in the sketch comedy paddling pool (for a laugh) | 19 MAY @komediabrighton ☔️ | Amused Moose Award Winners 2022 | @papanichs | @sullivanbeau
Rosie Nicholls @PapaNichs
6K Followers 4K Following “pinwheeling lunatic” | the girl in @grubbycomedy | moron @norollsbarred_ | actor @bovts | very powerful woman
Lili Chin 🍉🐈.. @lilita_yaya
6K Followers 3K Following Author & artist https://t.co/dohZfV52Fl, https://t.co/OxARTKk8ob, Dogs of the World 2025, gift shop, board gamer, 2 rescue cats, @yokai_parade #BLM
Blair @Bolairo_
6K Followers 269 Following 🎶 Bassoonist 🎶 🎮 Member of No Rolls Barred 🎲 🦹♀️ Cosplayer 🧝♀️ (She/Her)
The Bigfoot Influence.. @BFInfluencers
2K Followers 267 Following The Bigfoot Influencers - Podcast & Book available now! Find our YouTube and podcast at our website: https://t.co/fZQauCBsjH
Rubenesque D1ck 🏳�.. @_Jizzabelle
24K Followers 2K Following The original Jizzabelle. She/her. DM only if you want to be my baby daddy. RT my pics. Raging liberal. Cheese hater. See my wiener at https://t.co/0nhVOjfXvg
The Dragon's Tomb @DragonsTomb
1K Followers 481 Following The internet's #1 resource for learning how to play card and board games. Hosted by @jeffreykornberg.
Cliff Barackman @CliffBarackman
40K Followers 1K Following Curator of the @nabigfootcenter, musician, and biodegradable weirdo. Nobody in particular. #FindingBigfoot host.
James Bobo Fay @squatcher
44K Followers 334 Following Squatcher on Finding Bigfoot. Commercial Fisherman, Pretty Boy!
Isabee 🐝 @isabelisokay
814 Followers 1K Following Engineer, dnd/ttrpg fanatic chaotic bisexual gremlin | she/they/he | Rowan on PlutoCleric twitch| Felix on Midnight in the Marches on The Initiative Order|
👉❤️Pamsacola M.. @PMiffed
728 Followers 379 Following Subsidiary of Pamco. Yes. It's me, but over here I swear. It's fine. Fun. Funyuns. Sure, I'm other places. Baby, I'm everywhere.
Darth Kayder @kaywhittroll
237 Followers 486 Following
Kevin Papetti @KPapetti
18K Followers 489 Following NHL Writer/Analyst. Articles at @TheAthleticNHL and @LeafsNews
Becca 💞 @thebeccascott
56K Followers 1K Following Content Creator who went to drama school / MtG💓 Find my livestreams, TTRPGs, and Board Games @GoodTimeSociety
death angel @angel_0f_deathx
109K Followers 1K Following pied piper of ass | gym enjoyer | switch ⛓️ MDNI🔞
Amanda D. Paulson @prettyfnspooky
2K Followers 272 Following Paranormal Researcher, Investigator, Traveler. Specializing in 📡 PNW strangeness, Paranormal Art and Off Emotions. PO Box 1055 Spokane, WA 99201
Lindy Li @lindyli
353K Followers 199 Following political strategist 🇺🇸. @pennsylvaniagov commissioner. @princeton alumni class president. @dnc national finance committee. biden delegate. runner🏃🏻♀️
Chris Johnston @reporterchris
261K Followers 4K Following NHL Insider: @TheAthleticNHL @TSNHockey, @sdpnsports.
Chevee Dodd @cheveedodd
4K Followers 106 Following Gamer. Maker. Programmer. Dad. I do stuff for Portal Games. Check out my daily YouTube show: https://t.co/9N8ce3y6JZ
💀SpookyLittleComic.. @CunniLinguist77
17K Followers 8K Following failed librarian🖤💀🫀🎃avid mourner🪦🥀⚰️enthusiastic weeper•town crier•inward groaner•proud oddity🎭🎨📚animal cruelty≠joke🫥🗿🏰🌧🌳🍕🍪🪻🪺🪷🦦🫧NoDMs🏳️🌈
david cross✍ @davidcrosss
299K Followers 953 Following Stream my newest special WORST DADDY IN THE WORLD at https://t.co/nDD8NpUZjy. Subscribe to my new podcast at https://t.co/Cf1GByCX76
North American Bigfoo.. @NABigfootCenter
9K Followers 78 Following The world's largest public display of sasquatch artifacts, information, and evidence curated by bigfoot research professionals.
Leo A Frank @Sasquatchobser1
1K Followers 630 Following
Bigfoot and Beyond @BigfootnBeyond
9K Followers 28 Following The official podcast of Cliff Barackman and James “Bobo” Fay of television’s “Finding Bigfoot”! Hosted by @CliffBarackman @squatcher Produced by @mpruittbigfoot
Lindsay Owens @owenslindsay1
18K Followers 2K Following Executive Director @Groundwork. We are the economy. Formerly @SenWarren/@Keithellison/@RepJayapal/ @FlyingWithSara. Nashville's home.
FriendlyTies @FriendlyTies
62 Followers 0 Following Friendly Ties is a podcast made by people who enjoy talking about games as much as they enjoy playing them.
Jon Purkis @jonpurkis
354 Followers 255 Following REALLY good writer. And master of both modesty and sarcasm.
Ontario Cryptids @CryptidsOntario
112 Followers 130 Following Welcome to Ontario Cryptids -True encounter stories! Subscribe to my YT Channel https://t.co/OgG83v3BgQ .
Bigfoot Mountain @sasysquatchgirl
9K Followers 1K Following More than just a Bigfoot blogger, I also investigate. I am a lover of nature, art, history, and all things paranormal, I always try keep an open mind...
Sasquatch Chronicles @sasquatchchron
19K Followers 2K Following We discuss recent Sasquatch sightings, encounters and talk to Bigfoot eye witnesses. Podcast available on all outlets.
Dammit Erin @DammitErin
9K Followers 4K Following dumps like a truck truck truck thighs like what what what
big boy online @idonotbleed
11K Followers 448 Following web page for reading my posts and being my.friend
sleepiest girl in the.. @v_dcknz
9K Followers 3K Following headlinezzzz @theonion @reductress • Hyperfocus: A Neurodivergent Comedy Show @caveatnyc next show May 12 😇
Jesse Blake @JesseBlake
29K Followers 902 Following CEO at @sdpnsports | 1/3 of the SDP | Host of the JBSR |
my seven year old just called me “cremo” (cringe + emo) i did not reproduce just to be roasted daily
Well, I did it. I rubbed mayonnaise all over the kitchen table.
Two lions are eating a clown. One turns to the other and says, “this man probably had a family.”
I don't dress for women. I don't dress for men. I dress for the weather, mainly.
i’m like if einstein was fucking stupid
At lunch wit a white girl n she keep saying “yum dot com” after every bite
i hate gen z. they don't know who andy capp is and why he's the mascot for hot fries. news flash, assholes: he's from an old comic strip or something and i don't know either!!!
“you need to step outside your comfort zone” i have $17 in my bank account
nice outdoor pizza oven how much indoor money did it cost you
On my way to pick up some deli ham and start a large brush fire
FUCK TERRORISTS AND EVERYONE WHO SUPPORTS THEM ✌🏼
Nobody wants to go on the boat with me ever since I said a boat is a good place to do a murder. I’m not saying I’m going to do it, I’m just saying it’s a good place!
ME: *spins nunchucks around my body and between my legs then smashes my Big Mac on the table* MY DATE: I have to go to the bathroom, excuse me. It may take a while, don't look for me
I don’t always have the greatest self esteem but someone just walked by my desk & said “handsome” & I immediately looked up
@Blarebare I’ve been saying it for years, the man is the best at what he does. THE BEST!
Remember back before Onlyfans when your mom just sold Avon?
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