Midwest jj @MWjamminj
sitting here wishing a motherfucker would. mobile.twitter.com/search?q=MWJam… Somewhere around Barstow Joined September 2011-
Tweets24K
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Followers1K
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Following1K
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Likes48K
Midwest jj retweeted
You can call them "friendly" reminders all you want but we both know they are 100% hostile
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Midwest jj retweeted
Love cutting grass in my hoochie daddy shorts
Midwest jj retweeted
Don't touch me or I'll aggressively organize the things on my desk
Midwest jj retweeted
Do the cops storming colleges not realize that this will only lead to more folk music?
Midwest jj retweeted
I'm now rating my tweets based on their degree of Annieness. How Annie is this tweet? I give it a 4/10.
Midwest jj retweeted
Who called it "online shopping while sitting on the toilet" And not "buyarrhea"
Midwest jj retweeted
If u single rn u gon be single forever everybody got who they want, nobody wants you
Midwest jj retweeted
(pure rage) hey why did you lock this PDF
Midwest jj retweeted
Me: Don’t you get sick of playing the same video game for hours on end? Son: No. Me: *hasn’t looked up from Twitter feed in 12 years* that’s so weird.
Making the world go round is a lot of pressure on us fat bottomed girls but somehow we manage
Midwest jj retweeted
I don’t have guilty pleasures because I don’t assign guilt to pleasure.
Midwest jj retweeted
hear me out a hate triangle
Midwest jj retweeted
business tip. INSTEAD OF SAYING “i work from home”: weak, lazy, does not sound productive SAY “i practically live at the office”: a real go-getter, dedicated to the grind, a worker bee
Midwest jj retweeted
Welcome to adulthood: you’ll be trying to lose 10lbs for the rest of your life.
Midwest jj retweeted
The name Ron is short for Wrong
Midwest jj retweeted
In this economy buying something necessary feels like a treat.
Midwest jj retweeted
I like to make people at work feel like i need a chaperone
Midwest jj retweeted
where do you get off assuming i don’t love stupid prizes? *proceeds to play stupid games*
Midwest jj retweeted
i need a job that is so unimportant it doesn’t require any two factor authentication
Midwest jj retweeted
Damn, this can of whoop ass is hard to open.
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Nothing fucks up a great blowjob like looking up and seeing your wife standing in the doorway
You can call them "friendly" reminders all you want but we both know they are 100% hostile
Absolutely no one: My 11 year old: so…do you and dad have recreational sex regularly?
I knew the reason my heart was still beating was because of your breathing.
When you love your job so much.
My doctor called today to say that there was no sign of cancer in my last bone marrow biopsy. I am in Full. Remission. 🖤
We must prepare. 😂
Don't touch me or I'll aggressively organize the things on my desk
bro told me to bring sumn for the grill
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