🐚 @VikingBut
I really have no idea what I'm doing here @desert_musings is the best. @[email protected] on Mastodon, https://t.co/uXt3dC7Yx3 on discord mobile.twitter.com/search/from:@V… Joined November 2020-
Tweets57K
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Followers5K
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Following4K
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Likes17K
You look like you eat SlimJims like string cheese, of course you can sit with us
If you want to have a good time: bust out the old yo-yo and "walk the dog". If you want to have a bad time: imagine a group of middle aged men dressed as Waluigi meeting in a cheap motel, writhing on the floor, eating overly ripe plums off a dirty carpet, moaning in dark ecstasy.
Desperately screenshotting Dril tweets like I'm trying to save scrolls from the Library of Alexandria as it burns.
famous athlete and dangerous proposition hi falling i'm dad
I was fired from Twitter this morning. I was responsible for the clattering in the walls, the sighing through endlessly branching florescent-lit hallways, the garden of forking paths dripping dark tendrils into the depths of the earth, silently drinking the ferment I grow out of.
All this time trying to nudge an injoke out of an untouched inflight magazine as the tray sighs dreamily "table of content." So I storm off yelling turbulence for one and get a wink from opposing winds. I rough up my tie.
I’ll be straight with you. This isn’t iambic pentameter.
i found a way to save $8 a month
Oh no I’ve encountered my future self! The consequences could be disastrous😳🥼
Things will get butter, keep churning
In preparation for the long winter I am slathering my body with butter but for some reason my butter churn is feeling snugger than it did last year and don't tell me that's not how butter churns work or that snugger isn't a word I have to live my life on my own two buttery feet
I’m gonna leave this all behind and go back to being a reply girl like I always wanted
In the airport duty free shop opening up all the cigar tubes looking for free hotdogs
YEAH! BURN THIS MOTHERFUCKER TO THE GROUND! I shout from inside the burning house that I refuse to leave because I can't bear to abandon my collection of potatoes that look like shrunken heads
Just under the Earth's crust you'll find the Earth's juice box.
god I love a book with a weird map in the front. Yes confusing little map!!! you have done your job. I am enticed
.:RiotGrlErin:. @RiotGrlErin
55K Followers 3K Following • goth daria vibes • fear does not exist in this bio • muppet enthusiast • reba/dolly 2024 • subscribe •
Salty MacTavish 🇺�.. @SaltyMacTavish
13K Followers 9K Following We hardly talk about clams anymore and frankly I’m steamed about it https://t.co/MEeOiowPL2
Stabbatha Christy @LoveNLunchmeat
61K Followers 4K Following murder and cake. https://t.co/O1Sm1XVNmo
NurseBrianRN @rn_murse
19K Followers 825 Following Singer-Songscreamer I Gay Homosexual I Pubic Figure | Fourth Thing
Village Person @SvnSxty
31K Followers 4K Following If you support ethnic cleansing, kindly fuck off 😊 Find me and follow me @SvnSxty on all platforms. my tweets ⤵️
meghan @deloisivete
20K Followers 3K Following mother of boys | surrounded by a chaos of my own making | tweets in link below
Matty @bestestname
13K Followers 6K Following Twitter is easy. You just have to be funny all the time or no one will love you.
Real Life Mommy @reallifemommy3
33K Followers 3K Following Twitter is cheaper than therapy. Tweets are mine 👀@huffpost @TODAY_Parents @buzzfeed @babycenter @chicagotribune @boredpanda @thepoke @thechive ...
cap’n watsisname @capnwatsisname
11K Followers 2K Following slowly backing away. TOP TWEETS: https://t.co/K8oKqyuL84 click below for recent. I’m the same guy at the other places.
nice things I say to .. @meantomyself
28K Followers 8K Following Hopeful idiot | your big suburban | Log Lady | X's hottest mom™️ | tired founder. Not funny or young enough to write tweets for Clorox. avi @popartcartoonz
Helleanor Rigby @Mom_Overboard
56K Followers 3K Following 🥪 take these broken wings and learn to fly 🏔
President Warren G. H.. @PopeAwesomeXIII
13K Followers 2K Following Commercially Inviable. ✌️ 29th US President (1921-1923) 🧐 Tip jar! https://t.co/Igf16XkzWv ❤ He/Him 👍 🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️🏴☠️ ❤️ See pinned for migration info
DamnFineTweet @damnfinetweet
13K Followers 3K Following RIP DamnFineTweet 8/7/2019-4/27/2023 thank you for 85000 trophies and a million good vibes. I'll miss you!
mom mom mom mom mom @notmythirdrodeo
27K Followers 3K Following https://t.co/lKTwNPcAGY @momsoverhere on IG. Mommin’ the best I can with low standards. Featured in @HuffPost, @Buzzfeed, @Today_Parents and more.
Kathy Amanda @curtis98670
27 Followers 2K Following Entrepreneur 🏅Business Administrator 💱Crypto_Consultant 🅱️Expert bitcoin trading https://t.co/c0YDc5NZs4
Soshati @Soshati194483
186 Followers 4K Following
Sephe @Sephe219526
155 Followers 4K Following
Mis-Anthropologist @shroudmoth
640 Followers 416 Following Anthropology. Synesthesia. ASD. Black Belt. TTRPG. Living in pizza country. East of Sports fires. Cree, adopted. Trying hard to be social again.
ASHIKUL ISLAM @ASHIKUL5601
134 Followers 591 Following Social Media Marketing and Management Expert #ashikul5601
Danimal @DanimalSurly
2K Followers 2K Following Libido Whisperer | Coochie connoisseur | Veteran of the cornhole | 69 unbelievers cumverted since May | Slut for grilled cheese
zurds @zurds1
194 Followers 391 Following
em jayy @emjayy1027
92 Followers 745 Following formerly @borderlinemom8. mom. sometimes funny. never know when to shut up. fighting my demons and not being a bitch.
Roc @Roclogic
22K Followers 5K Following Just an old Marine Cpl | Published Author | Combat Vet OEF 🇦🇫🇺🇸 |https://t.co/Qmxg5f6jy3 Book Link Below
simon hertzler gascho @simonhg17
334 Followers 343 Following
Grumpy Drunk 🍻 @grumpy_drunk
4K Followers 5K Following 2X captain of my middle school drinking team. Tag me (@grumpy_drunk) in your drunk tweets. I’ll follow you back, otherwise I’m just drunk and lost. 🍻
bryce swan @drdivinity
2K Followers 5K Following the most relevant things to know about me is that I love books, dogs and cats and I'm resistant to change. I recently turned 60 and I am 1/2 paralysed
Couch Potato @DeTouRama
88 Followers 153 Following Movies, Music, TV, Books, Food, Photos, and other things that appeal to a couch Potato. No magas. This is a fun account.
Dean Kessler @DeanKessler7
160 Followers 2K Following
Daniel N @Ivoryeagle30
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Joy Oertwig @BombMomDotCom77
186 Followers 1K Following COOLEST Mom to Hella Kids - I got the best taste in music 🎶
🌌kristina 🌌 @inurnightdress
6K Followers 5K Following Alex Turner's favorite mistress/Samuel L Jackson of moms/B's snotty little muse https://t.co/FXGDC5Fus0
Justin Johnson @j48126084
143 Followers 352 Following![esoterically exploring & adventuring—foresee[n]](https://pbs.twimg.com/profile_images/785023087435739136/9WT40XxP.jpg)
Matthew Adam @esoterical8
494 Followers 3K Following esoterically exploring & adventuring—foresee[n]
Bimi @bimi1042296
11 Followers 88 Following
Adam @Adam00374075
418 Followers 4K Following
Habetman @Habetman
19K Followers 13K Following Army veteran, actor, UPS guy approaching retirement, member National Sarcasm Society, conservative Californian, married with children, DM at your own risk!
Pessimus Prime respaw.. @_pessimusprime
768 Followers 380 Following They tried to cancel me. They failed. No one will stop me tweeting about Barry Chuckle. YOU HEAR ME ELON?
Aisnowgirls @aisnowgirls
331 Followers 1K Following I created digital ai model girls using Ai + Photoshop Visit mY Patreon for 🔞 premium content https://t.co/xwavs4DSoi
Josh Bergin @01Jbergin
109 Followers 194 Following No Matter Who You Are.... ⭐ Be Real ⭐ Be Honest ⭐ Be Kind
Marcia Zeballos @bluexoxo
598 Followers 2K Following Pinterest addicted, Blog Writing wannabe who also wants to become rich eating nachos. Instagram @bluexoxo2006
BoBo697❎️ @BoBo_stern697
970 Followers 2K Following BoBo697 Live life each day to the lest, don't be trapped like rats ! listen to the Howard Stern Show ! Except when Blank frm Blank is on.
#BlackMzungu ™ ◢�.. @_BlackMzungu
7K Followers 6K Following Drones ☮ Unorthodox ☮ World Citizen ☮ Selenophile 🌛 Tsundoku 📚 🍉
Byaiswa Rishid @mpiigwa1
41 Followers 325 Following
tnsonthelow @tnsonthelow
152 Followers 2K Following Follow us on Instagram @tnsonthegram // Onlyfans link below 😈 // retweet for retweet, help us gain // we do shoutout for shoutout on Instagram as well
Quaku Gemini ♊ 🇬.. @AyagahF
479 Followers 3K Following Am one guy who like to Ave fun with my friends like to play TV games at my quiet tym
mithilesh kumar @mithile90321049
110 Followers 582 Following
rocky @rocky193234731
195 Followers 1K Following
SandraMorgan @SandraM97731463
8 Followers 44 Following
JustBeachy🌊 @Patty_cakez_
1K Followers 466 Following No longer musing at the desert and enjoying the beach instead. New life, new account.
daniel costa @danielc97588479
67 Followers 1K Following acesse @tremdotempo Daniel Costa spofity ou nas redes sociais e ainda nas plataformas que levem ao sistema on line do blog trem do tempo.
Myandra's Mesmeric �.. @MyandraM
3K Followers 4K Following Writer, thinker, artist, music player. Democrat, https://t.co/Gfo5mgnASH Anomalous Smutmuffin Enigma "Blueskies nothing but blue skies do I see"
Juan A Morales (TONY @tonymorales44
2K Followers 5K Following Crazy & Happy& handsome !!!! No DM and no fu#king MAGA!!! 💙 🌊 💙 🌊
Nicholas K. @LordSplice
2K Followers 4K Following I create better worlds because ours isn't so great. #Writer, #Polyamorous, Father, Husband, Follow the Twitter of my series: @xbloodlinesx Ig:@bloodlinesseries
ABDUL @LKS50500
189 Followers 2K Following Good man, having good intention to help other people living in the principle of live happily and let others live happily
.:RiotGrlErin:. @RiotGrlErin
55K Followers 3K Following • goth daria vibes • fear does not exist in this bio • muppet enthusiast • reba/dolly 2024 • subscribe •
Salty MacTavish 🇺�.. @SaltyMacTavish
13K Followers 9K Following We hardly talk about clams anymore and frankly I’m steamed about it https://t.co/MEeOiowPL2
Stabbatha Christy @LoveNLunchmeat
61K Followers 4K Following murder and cake. https://t.co/O1Sm1XVNmo
NurseBrianRN @rn_murse
19K Followers 825 Following Singer-Songscreamer I Gay Homosexual I Pubic Figure | Fourth Thing
Village Person @SvnSxty
31K Followers 4K Following If you support ethnic cleansing, kindly fuck off 😊 Find me and follow me @SvnSxty on all platforms. my tweets ⤵️
meghan @deloisivete
20K Followers 3K Following mother of boys | surrounded by a chaos of my own making | tweets in link below
Matty @bestestname
13K Followers 6K Following Twitter is easy. You just have to be funny all the time or no one will love you.
Real Life Mommy @reallifemommy3
33K Followers 3K Following Twitter is cheaper than therapy. Tweets are mine 👀@huffpost @TODAY_Parents @buzzfeed @babycenter @chicagotribune @boredpanda @thepoke @thechive ...
cap’n watsisname @capnwatsisname
11K Followers 2K Following slowly backing away. TOP TWEETS: https://t.co/K8oKqyuL84 click below for recent. I’m the same guy at the other places.
nice things I say to .. @meantomyself
28K Followers 8K Following Hopeful idiot | your big suburban | Log Lady | X's hottest mom™️ | tired founder. Not funny or young enough to write tweets for Clorox. avi @popartcartoonz
Helleanor Rigby @Mom_Overboard
56K Followers 3K Following 🥪 take these broken wings and learn to fly 🏔
President Warren G. H.. @PopeAwesomeXIII
13K Followers 2K Following Commercially Inviable. ✌️ 29th US President (1921-1923) 🧐 Tip jar! https://t.co/Igf16XkzWv ❤ He/Him 👍 🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️🏴☠️ ❤️ See pinned for migration info
DamnFineTweet @damnfinetweet
13K Followers 3K Following RIP DamnFineTweet 8/7/2019-4/27/2023 thank you for 85000 trophies and a million good vibes. I'll miss you!
mom mom mom mom mom @notmythirdrodeo
27K Followers 3K Following https://t.co/lKTwNPcAGY @momsoverhere on IG. Mommin’ the best I can with low standards. Featured in @HuffPost, @Buzzfeed, @Today_Parents and more.
Dad Named Matt 🇺�.. @mahnamematt
6K Followers 1K Following Dad. Husband. Veteran. Coffee. Baseball. Memphis. Best ⬇️ - latest ➡️ https://t.co/IipngUg6X6
Katie D @KatieDeal99
16K Followers 2K Following Bios are hard. On Instagram as katiedeal99 https://t.co/iMruSPyTav
The Mom, M.Ed. 💃 @TheMomMEd
1K Followers 1K Following Mom. Writer. Chronic Pain Warrior. Animal lover. Baker, at times. I have extremely dry wit, and I’m not sorry about it. ***I do not DM.***
dangerfloof @BrightsidesWife
5K Followers 4K Following life is love, joy, chaos, peace, humour and pain. artist. advocate for mental health, cptsd and autism 💙
sısıɹɔ˙ʎʇıʇu.. @identityXcrisis
583 Followers 487 Following Please don't parade on my rain. (he/it/bag of dirty sox) search & destroy: https://t.co/RmSupAIwRp i'm not ur kids babysitter 🔞 eat this, twitter: ⬇️
˗ˏˋ 𝕖 𝕣 𝕚.. @ErinZ
242 Followers 174 Following Gangsters drink 40s but real hustlers drink coffee. All-around bad guy. ☻
TunaOfTheSky @tunaofthesky
12K Followers 7K Following I'm a series of tubes. New York Times Best-selling reader. Fashion crime scene photographer. Independently filthy. Pathological liger. Alfalfa male.
Threatening Music Not.. @ThreatNotation
362K Followers 12 Following Cataloguing threatening music notation. DM submissions welcome—please include source whenever possible.
Mike the Polymath �.. @sacwriter
13K Followers 4K Following An autodidact, specializing in trauma and sex therapy using IFS and EMDR. LGBTQIA+ ally. ENFJ and 2w3. He/Him/Person.
Bryan Wallace @funkajellomello
3K Followers 3K Following Word play that makes a difference, or puts a smile on the face...
Wonder of Science @wonderofscience
2.5M Followers 42 Following "The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the source of all true art and science." - Albert Einstein
Reverend Matty (feat... @reverendmatty
6K Followers 2K Following Filmmaker. Screenwriter. Chronic Exacerbator. OG X-Men Movie Alum. CoWriter of GWAR in the Duoverse of Absurdity. Tarantino Award Winner. IMDB in my Linktree.
Jeff the 4th @grayskies365
707 Followers 639 Following Married. Dad. Won a coloring contest in 1986. https://t.co/KctvANfzUv
Jeremy C. Shipp (they.. @JeremyCShipp
22K Followers 13K Following Butler for cats. Geek. Author of THE MERRY DREDGERS and BEDFELLOW and THE ATROCITIES.
👉❤️Pamsacola M.. @PMiffed
728 Followers 380 Following Subsidiary of Pamco. Yes. It's me, but over here I swear. It's fine. Fun. Funyuns. Sure, I'm other places. Baby, I'm everywhere.
David the Evil Overlo.. @D_Evil_Overlord
7K Followers 7K Following #WritingCommunity #sffchrons #amquerying a two-book comic fantasy @[email protected] @[email protected]
Moby Dick @MobyDickatSea
89K Followers 1 Following Random lines from Moby Dick. Bot conceived, coded, and curated by Mark Sample. Now posting exclusively on Mastodon: @[email protected]
captain depression @cpt_depression_
3K Followers 1K Following I’m interested in humour, architecture, chess, black holes, sports, video games and most things in between. Spur Ambassador.
Benett (and I ain’t.. @PhilosophyBootz
557 Followers 1K Following Believes in science (BS). Rogue philosopher (MA). Married (AF). Proud #biracialfamily #whipaki Dad. #Resist He/him
Stephen Black @stephenRB4
48K Followers 13K Following Welcome to the Second Realm. Northern Irish dark fantasy writer. Line & Developmental Editor @editorialBT Senior Editor @ThinVeilPress ☘️✍🏻📚
Bimbo Saggins 🦋 @bitzydimbo
50K Followers 829 Following titanium spine • paralysis survivor • strong ♿ 🔞 https://t.co/rmB3TtEF5Q 💋
Amanda ✨ @spacecat_247
87 Followers 167 Following 💖 Lecturer. Cheesecake enthusiastic. ⚠️ Please disregard the obscure/slightly concerning tweets.
Sam Oldman 🐀 @SamLoonie
1K Followers 1K Following Dog owner, cat hotelier, maker of lists, here for your keen observations of life. My Avi obligates me to 💟 cat pictures. Mastodon: [email protected]
¡GolfFoxtrotYankee! @StillTheSame_81
231 Followers 1K Following husband. father. car guy. airplane nerd. sports. tired of politics. restaurant industry survivor.
SexBreakfast 🇨🇦 @sexbreakfast365
2K Followers 2K Following Writer. Teacher. Explorer. Architect. Liar.
Andrew @mrandrewm
307 Followers 426 Following Time Traveling Octopus Wrestler https://t.co/q0NYzwrbqz
Brad Gearon @bradgearon
853 Followers 599 Following already following you. https://t.co/8blQnuTrmc https://t.co/PiNUWSxlD1
zachlowrie @zachlowrie
347 Followers 145 Following
Mr.Carter @dexteristwisted
3K Followers 1K Following Stand up for what you believe in. Trump Troller ... Always positive.... Huge everthing L.A. sports nerd... extremely dirty minded, but always respectful
Please Stand By @CaptAntagonist
465 Followers 246 Following This place is not a place of honor. No highly esteemed deed is commemorated here. Nothing valued is here.
Just a bitch tree @bitchisagenius
2K Followers 850 Following tell your friends this is the best bio you've ever seen.
Larry The Native Guy @larry_native
1K Followers 3K Following
stinky katie ✨ @stinkykatie
215K Followers 3K Following just a silly little artist drawing wholesome stuff!! 💕✨🐰🌷☁️💖 i have cute merch here!! 👇🏻🐸👇🏻
Y’all twitter isn’t looking good, I’ve got a pretty sweet server set up in the deep corners of mastodon. It’s called amontillado.cellar… why don’t you come down and check it out
Hey, if you’re leaving twitter let’s stay connected in the IMDb Quotes page for Kronk’s New Groove.
@mrsauntiepam @VikingBut x.com/erratarob/stat…
Twitter has fewer than 1000 users-per-server right now, a shockingly bad number that creates enormous costs. they should be at least 10,000 users-per-server, and really closer to 100,000. The solution is radical changes to their software stack.
@mrsauntiepam @VikingBut it takes 3+ people on 8 hour rotation to sit an watch a server log aggregate and hit *reset* on one or more of them every 20-40 minutes. and they don't write any code so Elon fired them.
@VikingBut More so than usual, but the whole site has been pretty janke for a few days. Glitchy. I'm curious to understand exactly how many people it really takes to keep something like this running properly.
@VikingBut Yep, sometimes they are completely empty.
For those who’ve followed me for awhile, you probably know that I’ve been low key obsessed with joke tweets about the Wild West for a long time, so at least you’ll be prepared for what’s coming. These are for you.
You don't understand they're not all in one place I've tucked them into every possible nook and cranny over the years some are in the walls some are buried in the basement some are only in my mind
wouldst thou like to live deliciously (happy halloween from my son)
$20 a month to keep my blue check? Fuck that, they should pay me. If that gets instituted, I’m gone like Enron.
@foodandwhining @Anyextee @VikingBut The second sun also only comes out once every 5 years!
@VikingBut @TheMomMEd @sweetmomissa @mommajessiec @difficultpatty @mom_tho @notmythirdrodeo @kevinthedad @HomeWithPeanut @Dad_At_Law So good to see you She’ll, thank you ❤️
@foodandwhining @Anyextee @VikingBut Photographers often use supplemental light especially when shooting into the sun.
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