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SondraDee @SondraDeeMe

if you have more than 4 kids, I automatically refer to you as a hoarder https://t.co/QZO7PK1KfC Joined February 2013
  • Tweets
    104K
  • Followers
    18K
  • Following
    2K
  • Likes
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SondraDee retweeted
Suzietine_Kryze Profile Picture

Suzietine_Kryze @Suzietine_Kryze

2 years ago

Twitter went from everyone pushing each other on mood swings to pushing each other off cliffs really fast.

SondraDee retweeted
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Mal @TheRealPalMal

8 months ago

At what point is a salad no longer a salad based on how much bacon I add?

SondraDee retweeted
SondraDeeMe Profile Picture

SondraDee @SondraDeeMe

8 years ago

[hotel] ME: No minibar? BF: No. ME: Or room service? BF: You're being extreme. ME: *emerges in camouflage* We're survivalists now, Gary.

SondraDee retweeted
SondraDeeMe Profile Picture

SondraDee @SondraDeeMe

9 years ago

Take away your handsome husband, beautiful home, those happy kids and what would you be? Me, you'd be me.

SondraDee retweeted
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SondraDee @SondraDeeMe

7 years ago

[babysitting] Me: *Grabs cigarette* Gotta light? Kid: I'm only six. Me: Oh, I thought you were seven. My bad.

SondraDee retweeted
SondraDeeMe Profile Picture

SondraDee @SondraDeeMe

10 years ago

If you have more than 4 kids I automatically refer to you as a hoarder.

SondraDee retweeted
SondraDeeMe Profile Picture

SondraDee @SondraDeeMe

9 years ago

If you're still carrying "baby weight" and your kid is 2, then I'm still carrying "pizza weight" from getting stoned in my 20s.

SondraDee retweeted
GinRumMe Profile Picture

JRGin @GinRumMe

5 years ago

What we really need is wider and shorter plates of nachos. No more tall towers of chips and toppings. Spread the toppings across a larger area and cover all the chips, not just the top layer. Stand with me.

SondraDee retweeted
Marcmywords2 Profile Picture

Marcmywords @Marcmywords2

4 days ago

The key to a good nights sleep is to keep the skeletons in the closet from conspiring with the monsters under the bed,

SondraDee retweeted
UncleBob56 Profile Picture

Uncle Bob 🍩 @UncleBob56

4 years ago

Put a fake owl near my tomato plants to scare the birds away. Last night they plucked his eyes out & left a nasty note about his mom's hooters.

SondraDee retweeted
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The B. @anerdonfire2

4 days ago

No no babe, we don't turn Absolutely Fabulous.

SondraDee retweeted
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The B. @anerdonfire2

2 days ago

Sure I'll go, I haven't had a meltdown there yet.

SondraDee retweeted
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Kellalena @topaz_kell

2 days ago

I’m determined to do anything I put my mind to after panicking first, during and after.

SondraDee retweeted
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Mythic Picnic @MythicPicnic

2 days ago

Do plants ever learn to take care of themselves, or are they like kids?

SondraDee retweeted
greek_heanen Profile Picture

Μαρια Κιτρινη @greek_heanen

2 days ago

-Listen, you flies..calm dowm. You want to get out, I will help you get out, we're together in this. No hugs please

SondraDee retweeted
JudiFoodi Profile Picture

JudiFoodi @JudiFoodi

3 days ago

Boss: You were gone 7 hours to smoke? Me: Well yeah. It was a brisket.

SondraDee retweeted
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SondraDee @SondraDeeMe

4 years ago

If you had let me finish, yes, your baby looks like a disgruntled employee, but I meant employee of the month.

SondraDee retweeted
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m@thew @TweetPotato314

6 years ago

They say that a Giraffe can run up to 37 miles per hour. That seems unfair. I doubt he knew he was being timed.

SondraDee retweeted
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SondraDee @SondraDeeMe

8 years ago

I get a full day of cardio each morning by running through worst case scenarios for my life.

SondraDee retweeted
SondraDeeMe Profile Picture

SondraDee @SondraDeeMe

7 years ago

[zoo] Orangutan: Let’s bust outta here Chimp: We’d need to find jobs Orangutan: Where? Monkey: I have an uncle who has a business

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